Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He will not desert you or abandon you. — Deuteronomy 31:6

 

Our euphoric mountaintop experiences in life do not usually linger as we would like. But, thankfully, the valleys of despair do not last as long as we fear they will. We humans spend most of our lives in the places in between. I’m thankful for those episodes when God shows Himself to be all powerful, merciful, and loving. They remind me of who He is, and oh, how I need that reminder.

Right before Roma began his reckless journey that took him to Atlanta, Georgia, I had another vivid dream. In it I was sharing some “Roma stories” with a group of friends. Ever since he arrived in our family at age seven, Roma supplied us with ample colorful, entertaining stories to share with eager listeners. After we all laughed about some new episode in the life of my funny son, I turned to walk away from my amused, captive audience. A friend observing from a short distance was standing by the door through which I was leaving spoke. She spoke slowly and deliberately, “Write all this down.” That was the end of the short dream. It seemed more a demand than a dream. So, I started writing down the events as they unfolded. Soon, I could hardly write fast enough.

Roma left Florida completely broke. He had been in a suburb of Atlanta for over two weeks without a job and no obvious effort in finding one. I started to wonder how he had money to survive. The list of possibilities was troubling. We kept the lines of communication open, mostly by daily texts. I had no control over Roma who was almost 700 miles away. I knew no one near him who could keep an eye on him.

I had sprayed prayer requests for Roma in all directions as soon as I sensed he was in real trouble. Another place of possible prayer presented itself in a private, national adoption group on Facebook which I had joined years earlier. I had not participated much in the group, but I was becoming desperate for help. Surely these parents had been desperate for prayers for their children, even though it was not an overtly Christian group. I was beginning to understand the power of prayer and the mercy of God.  On Sunday, May 24, 2014, I gathered my courage and asked for prayers for my lost boy from this group of complete strangers. I gave a brief history and my present fears.  One member, Nancy, messaged me privately to ask how she could help. Her offer was so unexpected but profoundly appreciated. She explained that she lived near Atlanta. Wanting her to understand the depth in which I trusted God, I mentioned that I hoped Roma’s thirst for God would drive him back to church one day soon. She graciously offered to invite him to her church, Passion City Church, led by Louie Giglio, a well-known and dynamic pastor. I had heard that name. I had watched a video that he had recorded about the vastness of the universe. Otherwise, I was unfamiliar with him.

A few days later in our daily texts, Roma shared that he was having nightmares. I had never known him to have trouble sleeping, even when he first joined us at age seven. I interpreted the nightmares as fear, confusion, and spiritual warfare. Roma had always had a safety net of some sort. Now he was on his own. I was grateful he had the memory of God showing up on the sidewalk of Delray Beach to remind him he was never alone. Still, surely there was a battle raging against terrifying enemies in the heart and soul of my precious son.

Nancy messaged to ask if her daughter, who was close to Roma’s age, could call him and invite him to church on Sunday evening, to a service that attracts many young adults in the congregation and larger community. When I saw pictures of Nancy’s lovely daughter, I was pretty confident Roma would accept her invitation. He was an extreme extrovert and had probably been spending too much time alone in front of a screen of some kind. Roma had a strong sense of right and wrong. I trusted that, if he ignored it long, guilt would hound him.

I contacted Roma and asked permission, a little after the fact, to give a stranger his number, in case he needed to reach out to someone down there in case of an emergency. I added that she might invite him to her church. We texted back and forth and finally he said, “Sure, whatever,” which I interpreted as an enthusiastic “yes.”

With our sudden connection, Nancy and I frantically messaged back and forth. Her daughter called Roma. She reported that he was “very pleasant.” He agreed to consider the invitation and call her back in a day or two.

I was aware that God was again an integral part of our story. On the radio that Friday morning, May 30, a favorite radio station featured none other than Louie Giglio. I just shake my head sometimes and marvel at God’s creative provision. I almost felt Him smiling and asking me, “Are you paying attention, dear one?”

“Examining My Past for a Better Future” was the title of Giglio’s message that morning—exactly what Roma needed to hear, from a man he might soon hear speak in person. Regardless of his counselor’s assessment  of “no adoption trauma,” it was a reality that Roma had experienced loss in his early life. I contacted Nancy again, a woman I had never met in flesh and blood, but who was rapidly becoming as close as beloved family. Surely God had connected us. I messaged her to share about how I felt God so close, and how He had just introduced me to Louie Giglio.

Nancy reported on Saturday that Roma had called and wasn’t available to attend church this Sunday, but maybe next Sunday. A little later, Roma called me to say he wanted to come home to Maryland. He was restless and disillusioned in Georgia. I reminded him it was not our idea for him to go to Georgia, and suggested that he shouldn’t bail out again, abandoning his plan when things got difficult. Maybe it was time to stay put and learn whatever lesson might be there for him. I knew his returning home would solve nothing. I suggested he accept the church invitation. Without a job, what could he be doing of any importance on Sunday evening?

Later Nancy messaged to say Roma had called and had changed his mind about attending church with them. Nancy, her husband, and daughter picked Roma up on Sunday at 3:30 p.m., and spent some family time with my lonely boy until the service started at 5 pm. At the time of their planned arrival, I headed into my newly renovated prayer closet, a sacred space designated and utilized since Roma went AWOL in Florida. After spending silent time in the dark and praying, I headed to my favorite chair and opened the Bible for the next phase of the battle. God led me to Psalms. I “randomly” began in chapter 139.  I was struck in verse 5 by the image of “hemming in” which had been the words of yet another Facebook sister that told me she was praying for God to hem Roma in. By the time I was at verse 7, I had the image of how powerfully God was going after Roma. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” Verses 13-14: “You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Tears streamed down my face as I prayed for this God-given son, a child God loved even more than I did.

I read to the end of Psalms. I checked my email, and another new sister-in-Christ, who God had linked to me through Roma’s story, had sent me a link. Not knowing about my new awareness of Louie Giglio, she sent me an article. which contained a link to a video. It just happened to be the one Giglio video I had seen before, about the vast universe, “How Great is Our God.” I sat and watched all 40 minutes of it. When he started quoting the same verses I had just read, in Psalms 139, again I smiled, acknowledging God’s presence, and His question, “Are you paying attention, dear one? Don’t miss the miracle of my presence!” I was cautious not to expect too much, but every breath became a prayer. Every report from Nancy became a praise. God was surely on the move. And what a joy it was to witness His love and mercy.

Roma’s text the morning after his first visit to Passion City Church and being welcomed into Nancy’s family filled me with hope. He was actively searching for any job and planned to return to church next Sunday. His new “extended family” in Georgia displayed the love of Christ to my spiritually parched boy. Love like that is hard to decline.

Nancy and I agreed that we would keep our close and constant communication from Roma. He needed to trust Nancy’s family and not know his every movement was being reported to his mama. Roma rarely minded being the center of attention, but for that time, he didn’t need to know how much attention he was getting. He was trying to be a man, but we knew he was more like a little boy who needed a mother close by. I didn’t mind sharing Roma with another mother who God was guiding. We needed all the help we could get.

Try as we might, we can never elude God. The best we can do is deceive ourselves that we have hidden from Him.  Perhaps, like Saint Augustine, we pray for God to take away our lust for worldly things. And like Saint Augustine, we add, “but don’t do it just yet.” We don’t understand that only Living Water from Him can satisfy this hunger and thirst.  Like it or not, we are made for God.

Augustine also observed, “Our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you.” It was obvious that God was going after Roma. I knew God would win. I hoped I would live long enough to witness Roma’s surrender. In the meantime, I was in awe of this God who was making Himself so visible to me, and to Nancy, and to all who were joining in our story. I was thankful for the admonition in a dream to “write it all down,” for the details would become even more precious to me in the future. So much would have been lost to my memory had I not documented these daily wonders.

Continue with Chapter Six