Chapter 14

Men will never become great in theology until they become great in suffering.  — Charles Spurgeon

Roma’s grandfather, Roman Sujashvili, (spelled Sudzhashvili in our official translated documents and Roma’s legal English middle name) was born in Georgia in 1937. He had three sisters and loving parents. A former republic of the Soviet Union, tiny Georgia is wedged between the northeastern border of Turkey to the south, and to the north, the Caucus Mountains. Surnames ending in -vili are as traditionally Georgian as names beginning with Mac- are Scottish.

Because jobs were scarce in Georgia, Roman’s family moved around 1960 to Mozdok in North Osettia, Alana, in the scenic Caucus region of Russia.  From Northern Georgia to Mozdok is 90 miles, or a two-and-a-half-hour drive across the rugged mountains. Proud and noble nationals, Georgians traditionally chose to marry other Georgians, but Roman met and married a Ukrainian-born Russian woman, Emma. She persuaded Roman to move to Ukraine when their daughter, Eteri, was four, and Igor, two.

Once settled in Ukraine, Roman joined the Ukrainian Army. He often traveled, sometimes being away from home for as long as a month. One day he returned home to find his family missing. He learned Emma had gone away with her lover and left the children in the streets. Neighbors had taken the children to an orphanage.

It was no simple task for Roman to regain custody of his own children. He had to prove he was capable of taking care of two small children while he worked. The court case lasted six months. The young siblings clung to each other, and their bond deepened, as they tried not to lose hope. Roman was finally allowed to take his children from the orphanage in Ukraine back to Mozdok where his parents were willing to help him care for them.

About that time, Emma returned and wanted to take Eteri with her. When Roman refused to allow it, Emma claimed the girl was not Roman’s. Before an age of paternity testing, Emma’s wishes prevailed. The children, ages six and four at the time, were separated, and another bonding thread was broken for young Igor.

For two years, Roman’s loving parents looked after their grandson while Roman worked. Before long Roman married a Russian woman named Raisa. Igor returned to live with his father and his new wife. With Raisa, Roman had another daughter and son.

Having a new mother and another change in his life was difficult for Igor. Perhaps he missed his grandparents’ stability and the large family of cousins.

Lia, who so graciously compiled the stories from her mother and aunt, Roman’s sisters, was always close to Igor. Born the same year in 1965, Lia and Igor spent a lot of their childhood together. Lia’s parents brought Igor to spend summers with their family who lived in neighboring Chechnya. Lia described Igor as “naughty and stubborn but at the same time, very clever, kind and understanding.” Although Igor loved his new stepmother in his own way, he struggled to get used to his new life, and he resisted following her rules. Problems escalated, and at times, Igor returned to live with his grandparents.

When Igor was seventeen, he fell in love with Marina. When Marina became pregnant, Igor wanted to do the right thing, so the teens married. Roman was against the marriage, for he did not want his son to repeat the mistakes he himself had made.

At age eighteen, Igor was required to serve in the army. In May 1984, while he was in the military, Liana was born. The young couple named her after Igor’s beloved cousin Lia. The early marriage presented challenges to the young family. Finding employment after his service in the army was difficult. Marina and Igor struggled financially and in their marriage relationship.

In 1987, Roman became ill with cancer. Shortly after his 50^th birthday, he died, and was buried in Tbilisi, Georgia. Roman’s house in Mozdok became his wife’s property, and she was not willing to allow Igor, Marina and Liana to live there after she remarried eleven months following Roman’s death.

In 1989, a second daughter, Diana, was born. Igor could not afford to support his family, as the early marriage had prevented him from getting a higher education and training for a better job.  At that time, the political strain between Georgia and Russia worsened, and the borders were closed.

As the Soviet Union collapsed in early 1991, Soviet Georgia declared independence from the USSR to become the new state of Georgia.

In the spring of 1994, unrest in Mozdok on the border escalated, and, to avoid getting involved in the hostilities, Igor, with a new plan, succeeded in crossing the southern border into Georgia. When he arrived in Tbilisi, his aunt, Lia’s mother, was waiting for him. She was determined to help her nephew with his plan to move his pregnant wife and two daughters to Georgia. While living with his aunt and looking for a job, he was always willing to help around the house with any needed chore.  He finally secured a job with a small company to paint decorations on ceramic vases and ornaments. The opportunity and responsibilities seemed a perfect fit for the eager young man who had always been a talented artist. Anyone who knows my family knows that many of us identify as artists! God’s fingerprints were all over this story.
            The year 1994 began with such hope for 29- year-old Igor. He finally had a job as an artist that suited him. He had never been trained as a painter, but he looked forward to more practice and perhaps instruction. He would soon have enough money saved to be able to bring pregnant Marina and their two daughters to Georgia, if he could find a way to get them across the closed border. 

During this time of renewed hope, Igor got devastating news from his family in Russia. His second daughter, Diana, had died in a car accident traveling to the corner store.

The news of the death of his five-year-old daughter, was a devastating blow for Igor. Making a terrible situation even worse, he was unable to cross the border from Georgia back into Chechnya to grieve with his family or attend her funeral. He withdrew into himself and would not allow even Lia, his most loved and trusted confidante, to comfort him. 

Back in Chechnya, Liana, ten years old, must have thought the world was coming to an end. She had adored little Diana. Her sister, her playmate and best friend, was gone. 

Liana was lost. Diana was gone forever. Her papa was far away, and her mama convulsed with inconsolable grief.  What would become of them? Would life every be normal again? 

Igor was still living at his aunt’s home in rural Georgia a few months later. Lia and her husband were living there too, while Lia’s parents were visiting their son in Greece. They celebrated Lia’s birthday in June with a party. After everyone was asleep, Igor went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette. 

A neighbor’s house down the dark, rutted road was still alive with people attending a graduation party. Some of the guys in the road noticed Igor smoking and came over to ask for a light. When he spoke Russian, they became angry because of the political hostilities between Georgia and Russia. Soon the dispute turned into shoving, and then a fight, with one threatening Igor with a gun. Four men beat Igor severely. 

Wounded and bloody, Igor limped back into the house and found his grandfather’s hunting rifle. Back on the porch, he frantically shot into the darkness to scare the thugs away, and to warn them he was armed.

In the darkness of the dirt roads of rural Georgia, a frightened young man, who had had a very bad year, pulled the trigger without thinking clearly. The bullet struck and killed one of the teens.

The shot woke sleeping Lia with a terrifying start. Screaming followed from the neighboring party. Igor’s dreams slipped away as blood ran from the dying boy.

He was sentenced to 14 years in prison.

“It seemed he was doomed from the beginning,” Lia often lamented while sharing Igor’s story.

His baby son, Roman Igorevich Sudzhashvili, named for his grandfather and father, as was the Georgian and Russian tradition, was born six weeks later, just over the Caucasus Mountains in Mozdok, Russia, in August of 1994. 

Continue with Chapter 15