Chapter Seven

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

—Psalm 46:1

Roma seemed to be lost in a haze of evil. I couldn’t reach my boy. He didn’t want to be reached. I went to bed Sunday night despondent and crying over my lost son.

When I woke up, Monday morning, June 23, the world seemed much brighter than the previous night. I had an unreasonable peace. I reread Roma’s belligerent texts from the night before. “You need to reconnect my phone. I have to be able to contact Markus.”

Who was Markus? Did he mean Mark? Mark was the man who wanted to take Roma and other young men to his ranch in Idaho for a week. The mere suggestion of the trip had irritated Roma two days earlier. He had vehemently assured me that he was NOT going. But Nancy was so sure Mark was the “real deal” from her first meeting on Saturday. I totally trusted Nancy.

I turned his phone back on. I texted, “if you want to go to Idaho, we will pay.”

“Yessssss,” he texted back. I knew his reason to go was probably because he didn’t want to be homeless, but whatever his motive for deciding to go, I felt so clearly, he was supposed to go.

Our texts through the morning revealed a hurt boy. We “made up,” and I offered grace to a boy who needed our love like never before. He needed mercy so much more than my view of “justice.”

I had spent Saturday afternoon, before all hell broke loose, literally, reading the long, detailed, articulate email Mark had sent us after he met with Nancy and her husband that afternoon. His testimony and career credentials were impressive, reverberating with sacred echoes. His recorded testimony included his unexpected call to mission work in Russia, much like mine to adoption. The God-you-have-got-to-be-kidding feelings, the provisions supernaturally supplied for the call. And, “coincidentally” (I think not), he mentioned in his email the name of only one young man who was a past ranch visitor. Mark had no way of knowing that I just happened to know this young man’s mom from Facebook. I lived in Maryland, and Beth, in Atlanta. As Facebook friends-you-don’t-actually-know go, Beth was closer than most. We were connected by a mutual friend, adoption, and my book about God’s call to adoption, which Beth also experienced. We had even spoken on the phone a couple of times and prayed together for our boys. And now I was learning that Beth’s son was going too. What were the chances of that happening?

Sunday, I sent Mark an email informing him of Roma’s overnight arrest, only hours after they had met, as soon as my broken heart could share the disappointment. I feared the opportunity was lost. I asked if this infraction would prevent him from going, and would my criminal son even be allowed to leave the state. There was so much I didn’t know about the legal system. Roma was my only run-in with the law. I also asked if the trip could help him if Roma didn’t think he needed help.

Mark said that disorderly conduct is a misdemeanor, and Roma would be free to travel; also, he had met much tougher cases than Roma. He was hopeful. No, he changed his word to “confident” that a week in Idaho at the ranch would help Roma.

I grimaced as I asked the price of such a week. I was shocked and delighted to learn we only had to pay for his plane fare. Mark explained that he and his wife had been blessed with this mission and would provide for all the needs of the boys for the week.

Too good to be true? Not for God. Everything was happening so quickly, but I could recognize that God was orchestrating everything around us. There are no coincidences in the realm God inhabits.

Beth, my Facebook friend who had prayed with me for our adopted Russian boys, was learning at the same time I was that her son and Roma had been invited by Mark to dinner! She was speechless about how it had all happened. She called me and we marveled at God’s work in the lives of our two boys. She echoed Nancy’s sentiment that Mark was the real deal! She said that whatever Mark suggested, do it.

Mark called on Monday evening and patiently answered our many questions. He had had an experience with God many years earlier that had transformed his life. He had been an addict and almost at the point of death when God came after him. He spoke of the demon who had lived in him, causing depression and addiction. He said as soon as he saw Roma, God made it clear that Roma was supposed to be on that trip to Idaho. His mission work had taught him that many of these boys he encountered who were adopted from Russia had a spirit of loss and addiction. He talked about demonic activity, a topic not talked about at many of the churches I had attended, although Jesus talked about it a lot.

Nancy messaged me on Monday morning to say Mark had just called them. It was hard to believe Nancy and her husband had not met Mark before Saturday, less than 48 hours earlier. Mark asked if they could pick Roma up from his hotel room, where we had paid for one more night, and not allow him out of their sight. When Roma checked out, he would be on his own, and he could not be trusted on his own. Mark asked if they could take him to their house to spend one night. Mark and his wife would pick him up on Tuesday and keep him safe until he could fly out on Thursday, June 26, with them, instead of waiting until Saturday, June 28, when the other boys would fly to Idaho. Mark was afraid to leave Roma unattended until they got on the plane. He didn’t want anything to happen to prevent him from going. He said that Roma’s demon was fighting for his life and would try to stop him from going to Idaho. I looked back over the past few days, and it all seemed reasonable. This was starting to sound like a Frank Peritti novel. Angels and demons seemed very real.

Before this experience, I have talked about “spiritual warfare” in abstract terms. But now I was witnessing it, and fighting it, and Nancy was constantly validating my suspicions through the weeks of our close communications. And now a man God so clearly led into our lives is talking about casting off demons? Nancy successfully handed Roma over to Mark’s care on Tuesday, June 24. But she asked Mark and me if she could pick him up from Mark’s Wednesday night to take him to one more service at her church. Mark was okay with it, and I was grateful. I playfully messaged Nancy,” Be very careful with him! I feel like you are in possession of the box that holds the Hope Diamond. The box is tattered right now, but Satan wants to steal it, and God has gone to amazing lengths to protect it!”

She texted right back, “I will protect it with my life!”

What are the chances all these connections would have happened without divine help? Zero!

Had I continued along my stubborn path, having once said that if a child of mine was ever arrested, I would let them sit in jail, Roma would have missed the trip to Idaho. Satan was counting on that. I am thankful for Nancy’s gentle nudge that we needed to get him out. The window of time was so small, to get him off to Idaho. My earlier conviction that Roma needed to learn the hard way was exactly that, MY conviction. I had not consulted God about it. I believe the enemy didn’t want Roma to be rescued from jail. He wanted Roma to miss this trip that God so clearly was arranging.

The timing and circumstances, when I look at the bigger picture, were uncanny. Roma meets a man on Saturday, and by Tuesday, is staying at his family’s home. On Thursday, he flew off to a new opportunity. Had I listened to my conviction to leave him in jail, and turn his phone off forever, this opportunity would have been lost, and another incredible story that glorified God would have been un-lived and untold.

So many pieces of an enormous puzzle. Every piece had its place, and its purpose. During this season of testing, Roma, and all of us on the sidelines, were learning so much about God and the enemy. God’s love is incomprehensible. His mercies are brand new every day! My life was enriched by a new, improved prayer life. Never before had I spent so much time on my knees or on my face, pleading my case, and Roma’s, before the throne of God. And God showed up! Another layer of scales had fallen from my eyes. I had a new peace and trust, that He who is in us is stronger than he who is in the world.

Mark texted pictures because Roma was required to relinquish his phone for the week.

I had no clue what would happen during Roma’s trip to Idaho, but I was completely confident God would meet him there. Many of the details of his trip were closed to me. It was Roma’s pilgrimage; he had to experience it privately. I know he came home changed. Would he sometimes revert to his old ways? Do I also revert to my old ways? Sadly, yes. But to have our eyes opened to see the reality of this merciful Father who never fails to go after His children moved us to a solid rock from which we could never walk back to unbelief.

Continue with Chapter Eight