Part three, My Cancer Journey

Though He slay me, still I will trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. Job13:15 (NKJV)

Job of the Bible had a hard life. I do not compare my problems with his. Everyone, if they live long enough, will suffer pain, hardships, grief, etc. The lesson is that we all suffer. And, as much as people try to escape death, we will all die. It is God’s plan. But He promises that this earthly life is not the end. Heaven is glorious. I believe it because my precious son, Roma, and my dear Mother await me there. I’m sure my mother is patient. I’m equally convinced that Roma is not patient. I’m sure he has a lot to show and tell me from his almost eleven years in Heaven.

I named this blog after a Bible verse. James 1:2. “Consider it all joy, brothers and sister, when you meet trails of various kinds. knowing that the testing of your faith produces perserverance. Allow perserverance to finish its work, so that you many be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” In 2012 when I started blogging, what trials was I facing? I guess I thought raising a new energetic, mischievous seven-year-old boy from Russia was a trial? What I was thinking? I obviously had lived a sheltered life.

I’ve heard it said that if we threw all our problems into a pile with everyone else’s, we would eventually pick up our own problems instead of exchanging ours for someone else’s.

In the days that followed my July 12 diagnosis, so many thoughts went through my head. Would I still be here for Christmas? Would it be my last? Should I decorate early so Bruce would feel comforted during the holidays when the kids came to make sure he was okay on this first Christmas . . . well, you know.

Or was something catastophic on the horizon from which God wants to spare me the pain by taking me early? Something devastating with my family, again? Aftert losing a child, I don’t think that the worry of losing another every goes away. We lost Roma almost eleven years ago and that grief lingers forever even though my main feeling now is gratitude that we got to have Roma for 14 years. I had to be careful how I prayed because I always wanted to be inside God’s perfect will. He knows the future. With all of my scambled thoughts, one thing that never crept in was fear. I really do trust God completely. If He heals me, I’ll spend my final years glorifying Him, which I have tried to do with other grief-turned-redemption stories. Again, I find myself on another unexpected journey and again He prompts me to “write it all down.” So my thoughts are just that–my attempt to tell this story as honestly as I can.

I made a text group to send out updates of my progress with some close friends and powerful prayer partners. I will share snippet of those texts to get readers up to date fast.

Aug 18, I had my first appointment with the oncologist this morning in Oakland, MD, about a half hour from home, I’m thankful I get to do chemo here instead of in Baltimore, 3.5-4 hours away. I’ll have chemo infusions every other week, five hours at the center and another 43 hours at home. I’ll go home hooked up to a canister of chemo. I return on Friday to have the canister removed. Three days, every other week. They will do blood testing every chemo infusion. They will do scans every two months. As soon as it shrinks enough, back to Baltimore we go for surgery. Please pray it shrinks and does not spread.

Sept 20, My third chemo infusion starts this Wednesday. I tolerated the second round well, almost two weeks ago now.The nurses tell me this third treatment will be tough. But they warned me about sides effects for the first two that I never experienced. I have many praise notes so far in this journey that began ten weeks ago today.This week’s reasons for gratitude—No pain for the past six days. I’m starting to have an appetite again, and have added back a couple of pounds I lost. I slept 5.5 hours straight last night, after waking up every two hours the past two months. Almost 8 hours total. I’m managing to eat the high protein, high calorie diet my doctors prescribed. I’ve had more energy, not enough yet for pickleball but Bruce and I can walk for two miles several days a week.Wednesday I’ll get hit with that aggressive chemo, again, and they’ve warned me that it will be rough. But they don’t know my prayers warriors, or my God! Thank you everyone. We appreciate the prayers, the visits, the cards, the flowers, the food, the sormal. I’m sleeping well. I’m eating. And I’m praising God for His mercy and love, and for my wonderful friends on this journey with us.

Oct 7, Bruce and I only walked 1.5 miles this evening. We could have finished the whole two miles but it was more important to talk to neighbors we pass along the way. This morning at chemo I had a delightful new nurse. She kept asking “Have you experienced . . .?” And I kept saying no. She reminded me that they are giving me strong chemo, and added that I’m a rockstar. Thanks for your prayers that enable me to be a rockstar! Round four of chemo starts tomorrow morning. Every time I start a new round, the nurses warn me of the side effects. Nausea—I haven’t experienced at all. Diarrhea? Nope. They tell me not to suffer these side effects but to call because there are medications to help and I don’t want to get dehydrated. More medication, more side effects. Nope. I’m not participating! Mouth sores. There are meds for those too, they tell me.  Nope.  I put a couple of drops of oregano essential oil on a spoon with olive oil and rub it inside my mouth and lips. It’s worked so far. They said my mouth would taste like metal and I wouldn’t want to eat. Nope. I have a better appetite and have not lost any more weight. Fatigue— they’ve got me there. But it isn’t too bad. Bruce and I walk over two miles a day three or four days a week. I have not had pain since September 19.So many reasons for which to be thankful and hope-filled! Next week, October 14, I have another scan to see what’s going on. Please pray there’s good news about tumor shrinkage! God bless you all and thank you so much. I feel your prayers and love!

October 15, I got the scan results. It’s not what I was hoping for, but it could be a lot worse. The tumor has grown a little. From 3.5 to 3.9. It has not spread, which is good news. I’m going to take a break from chemo and get stronger and my numbers up. They were giving me very strong chemo, three different kinds at once, infused over three days, and my blood work reveals my body is suffering. So please keep those prayers coming. I’ve seen a natural nurse practitioner and an integrative dr, and I have other options.

Photo credit, Melissa W